Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
