How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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