SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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