the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
