Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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