it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
