Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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