ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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