He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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