I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
