I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
