Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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