I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
