You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
