i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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