alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
