You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
