Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think people are normalizing furries
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
