entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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