I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
