based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
