So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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