best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
