Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
