Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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