I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
