He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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