It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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