did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
