i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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