I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
