so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
