Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
