420 ftw
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
