Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
