We won't sleep together?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
