dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
