So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
