Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
As shirtless as possible
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
