garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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