Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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