You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
