rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
