sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
