i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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