the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
