xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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