I wanna bring you to show and tell
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
