I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
