Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
